Tune: "A-Hunting We Will Go"

The Grand Old Captain Kirk

He Had A Thousand Men,

He Beamed 'em Up To The Enterprise

Everyone stands up

And Beamed 'em Down Again.

Everyone sits down

And When You're Up Your Up,

Everyone stands up

And When You're Down Your Down,

Everyone sits down

And When You're Only Half Way Up,

Everyone half-way up

You're Nowhere to Be Found.